Skip to content
  • Offerings
    Our Services
    Transfer Admissions
    SAT Test Prep
    ACT Test Prep
    College Prep for Neurodiverse Students
  • About Us
    Our Story
    Why Us
    Success Stories
    Partnering with Us
    Empowerly for Employers
    Contact Us
  • Programs
    AI Scholar Program
    Research Scholar Program
    Startup Internship Program
    Passion Project Program
  • Resources
    Blog
    Webinars
    Empowerly Score®

Sign In

Free Consultation
Book a Free Consultation

Login

  • Blog > High School

How to Handle College Rejection and Deferral

Picture of Madeleine Karydes

Madeleine Karydes

  • December 21, 2023

The Most Wonderful—and Busiest—Time of Year

December, the twelfth month, brings a flurry of activity for everyone. For teens, however, the season presents unique hurdles. Particularly, high school students who submitted college applications in the early round of decisions now receive their highly-anticipated responses. Each year, early decision results from colleges and universities begin arriving in student inboxes as the year winds down. If you didn’t receive the news you wanted—whether that’s a rejection, deferral, or some other scenario—our counseling team has advice to help you recover and respond like a champion.

‘Tis the Season… to Stay Well

The winter holiday season, no matter how you celebrate, is an excellent time for rest and recovery. While the academic semester concludes and classes, final exams, and club events wrap up, pause a moment to appreciate the hard work you already put into your dreams. Take care of your immune system with hot beverages and vitamin C to ward off the cold weather sniffles. If possible, spend some time with those you care about in your life. These valuable moments will build your overall resilience and ability to handle whatever comes.

Scenarios You May Encounter

Next, let’s take a look at the various scenarios you may encounter as a student waiting to hear your college admissions decision status from colleges and universities. Our expert college counselors offer their perspectives to help you process and prepare for your best outcome, no matter what the journey looks like along the way.

College admissions decision letter, deferral or rejection

Try Again: College Deferral and How to Respond

True, it’s not an immediate acceptance. For this reason, some students feel disappointed upon finding out that their early-round college application has been deferred to the regular decision pool. However, Empowerly Lead Counselor Eli shared a different perspective: “These should be seen as a positive thing. It means this school considers you qualified and is still considering you; if they weren’t serious, they would have outright rejected you.” The fact that your application is still in the running is a great start. So, what can you do about it?

“When I guide my students, I always suggest that they thank the school for continuing to consider them in the regular decision pool,” Eli explains. “This is done via a Letter of Continued Interest, or LOCI, that they email to admissions.” 

More about Empowerly Lead Counselor Eli

Before joining Empowerly as a Lead Counselor, Eli was the Director of a boutique admissions consultancy in Midtown Manhattan. Since graduating from Swarthmore and Yale University, he has been a private admissions coach for over a dozen years, helping ambitious students around the world attend schools like Stanford, Yale, University of Chicago, Duke, UPenn, USC, University of Michigan, Rice, and Brown. He specializes in Business, Computer Science, Biology, Pre-Med, and Fine Arts applicants, and has worked as a curator and editor for the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) and the Rubin Museum of Art in New York City.

The LOCI can include updates like: 

  • research publications
  • extracurricular developments (like new officer positions in clubs)
  • competition awards
  • outstanding scores or grades

… as well as any other unique updates that would help the acceptance committee better understand your talents.

Finally, in the LOCI, students “should summarize why they think this school is a great fit for them and what their mission or purpose is in the application—why they specifically want to attend the school and what they want to go on to achieve in the world,” Eli said. “If they can’t clearly state this mission and purpose, it might be indicative of a weakness in their application, and they should work on this part.”

Not Now: College Rejection and What You Can Leverage

If your early-round college application was denied, “it’s important not to take it personally or get down on yourself,” Eli emphasized. “Schools often have many more qualified applicants than they let in. They have specific needs in a given year to create a particular kind of diverse class, and maybe you just didn’t fit into that composition.”

So, what does a rejection letter mean? And what can students leverage from this new information?

“First of all, it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, and you may get into an equally great school during the regular decision round,” Eli said. “That being said, you can always use the period between early rejection and regular decisions to examine any weaknesses in your application.” 

Not only that, students who are looking for ways to take action to stay busy can pour their focus into targeted improvement. For instance: “I had a student who had started a nonprofit to support affordable artificial limbs but it didn’t have much traction by ED other than posting educational articles,” Eli shared. “He was rejected from his ED choice and this was a wake-up call—as a result, he threw some big dance party fundraisers with his DJ club over the holidays and raised thousands of dollars to send prosthetic limbs to poor communities, completely changing his nonprofit’s profile, and during the regular decision round got into Yale, among other places.” 

Still Waiting for News: How Families Can Support Students

Empowerly Lead Counselor Denard has worked with families and led students to success in a multitude of disciplines. He shared the following advice for families seeking ways to provide healthy support to their students during this potentially fraught time.

Student family support reminders:

  1. Have a realistic view of your child’s strengths and abilities.
  2. Know that most students, even when not accepted to a top choice school, like their college or university very much.
  3. Understand that for some students, this might be the first major rejection they have endured in their lives to date.
  4. Avoid expression of displeasure over the success of another student or friend if your child has not experienced a similar success.
  5. Avoid comparing your own college experience to your child’s. It’s a different playing field now.
  6. Help to normalize the experience of being rejected or deferred. It’s okay to be sad and disappointed, but help them understand that other opportunities will be available.
  7. Remember, this is their college process, not yours.
  8. Follow your child’s lead and mute or tone down your reactions.
  9. Celebrate every acceptance; even if it is a “safe” school, it should be celebrated and enjoyed!
  10. Be extra sensitive at this time. The seniors are under a lot of stress.
  11. Let your child share the news of acceptance, rejection, deferral, etc.
  12. Be a sounding board and help your child consider the next steps.
  13. Don’t take it personally – schools want to round out classes and create diversity in interest, major, geography, gender balance, and more.
  14. If your child has been wait-listed, deferred, or rejected early decision or early action, the wait until the end of March can feel long. Stay positive and encouraging.
  15. Remind your child frequently to hang in there, keep working, see our college counselors, and cross the finish line of senior year strong.

More about Empowerly Lead Counselor Denard

Before joining Empowerly as a Lead Counselor, Denard worked as an Associate Director of Admissions at multiple universities for the first decade of his career. He was a Summer Program Director at Duke University and spent eight years as a college counselor at two prominent independent high schools. Denard prides himself on providing perspective, knowledge, and humor to the application process. He has experience working with hundreds of students in all areas of interest, including STEM, Computer Science, Business, and the Humanities. His students have been accepted to Stanford, Brown, Yale, Duke, UC Bekerley, Rice, UIUC, and Georgetown, among other top universities.

family using phone together

Top Tips: How to Handle College Rejection and Deferral

As a high school student eagerly awaiting those college admissions emails, trustworthy advice can be a guiding light through the challenges of applying for early decisions. Our top recommendations today highlight the importance of self-care, especially during the holiday season, because your success is more than just about academic achievements – it’s also about savoring hot cocoa, loading up on vitamin C, and cherishing moments with loved ones.

Ever wondered what to do if that acceptance isn’t immediate? Well, the team spills the beans on the secret weapon – the Letter of Continued Interest. It’s not just a letter; it’s a golden opportunity to showcase achievements, from research publications to epic dance party fundraisers. Who knew a rejection could be a chance for an epic comeback? But it’s not just about what students can do. Our experienced counselors also offer a crash course in supporting stressed-out seniors, from avoiding comparisons to celebrating every acceptance. It’s a guide to being the ultimate support system.

In the end, we know it’s an emotional rollercoaster that high school students experience during the college application process, particularly around the holiday season. Our college counseling team’s advice encourages a positive mindset, resilience, and strategic responses to different decision outcomes. The emphasis on self-improvement and the importance of family support highlights a holistic approach to navigating the uncertainties of college admissions. Overall, the article provides practical advice and a supportive perspective to help students and their families manage this crucial period in their academic journey.

Share this post
College Internships
Picture of Madeleine Karydes

Madeleine Karydes

Related articles

Find the latest college admissions news, tips, resources and more.

40 Incredible Internships for High School Students (2025)

100 Best Art Schools & Colleges in the US (2025 Edition)

There are numerous exceptional colleges and universities around the world that offer outstanding art programs. Here is our list!

12 Best & Brilliant Common App Essay Examples for 2025 

Get started on your college application essay with these common app essay examples. Save time and get a great score. Schedule a consultation with Empowerly today!

Empowerly is a member of:

Menu

  • Services
  • Success Stories
  • Careers
  • Become a Counselor
  • Refer a Friend
  • Book a Consult

Contact Us

  • enrollment@empowerly.com
  • 800 491 6920
  • empowerly.com

Follow Us

  • LinkedIn
  • Instagram
  • Facebook
Subscribe to our Newsletter
© 2025 Empowerly Inc | All Rights Reserved
Cookie Preferences
Terms & Conditions
Privacy Policy
Offerings
Our Services
Transfer Admissions
SAT Test Prep
ACT Test Prep
College Prep for Neurodiverse Students
About Us
Our Story
Why Us
Success Stories
Partnering with Us
Empowerly for Employers
Programs
AI Scholar Program
Research Scholar Program
Startup Internship Program
Resources
Blog
Referral
Webinars
Empowerly Score®
Book a Free Consultation
Login