There is a tendency that sweeps the word dating, which is to see women changing a type of man for something totally different.
After 36 years of thinking that I was cursed with an attraction only for bad boys and bad boys, it is with great happiness that I can report that I cracked the code!
Yes, I figured out how to stop the big, throbbing heartbeat that pumps out of my chest for guys you would avoid in a dark alley and direct my big puppy eyes to a much nicer, gentler, yet kind of guy equally dreamy. The good guy. All of this, without even being forced into an encounter with one. I. boy. you. do not.
You see, it all started with a flurry of flashing lights, emergency sirens and IV drips. I am not kidding. A few weeks ago, I was suffering from some chronic pain and spent a very unexpected morning in the emergency room at my local hospital.
It was all very dramatic, involving me screaming in pain, a beautiful receptionist rummaging in my bag to find my Medicare card and me screaming for the green whistle.
(Anyone who has ever received the green whistle in absolute agony will know how glorious it really is.)
I was told that the green whistle was only emitted off-site and, as it was in the hospital, it would be evaluated first. Then, after much nudging and nudging a nurse, a doctor was called in to provide me with some serious medicine.
As I withered in pain, looking like an absolute sight, he met me with some very kind eyes, made a brief assessment and decided, yes, that required morphine. When the nurse set me up, the doctor took my hand, offered only kind words and tried to keep me distracted from the pain.
As I slowly relaxed into a painless glow, he stayed with me the whole time, while we waited for the results of my blood tests to return. It was at this incredibly vulnerable moment that I realized that what I was feeling was something very similar to love.
You see, this man had the characteristics that every girl secretly (or not so secretly) longs for: compassion, dedication and kindness.
A few hours later, I left the hospital with a prescription, a certificate of illness and a great passion.
As I told the girls about it over dinner a few nights later, we all agree that when a guy helps you in a vulnerable moment, it’s very exciting.
Who needs oysters as an aphrodisiac? Offer to help us with our taxes when we are scared during the month of July or to fix our car when we are stuck on the road. Seriously, is there anything sexier than a guy coming to your rescue?
Now listen, got it, it’s 2021 and YES, of course we can do all these things ourselves, but every now and then you find yourself in a difficult and well-off situation … I’m just saying, it’s human nature to suddenly find out this spring for a very seductive action.
I’m sure it goes back to the caveman days, when a man went and added a yeast for dinner, or something (sexy).
It reminded me of a work trip I took a few years ago to New Zealand. I was working for a travel program and we set out on a rafting adventure in Rotorua.
It was all really fun, until I took off my life jacket and the buckle went up, hit me in the face and broke my tooth. It is not a small chip, but a very big one. I seemed to belong to the Tiger King.
Our tour guide took action. Seeing my discomfort at being surrounded by a film crew similar to cousin Itt, he took me back to the hotel, offered to take me to the dentist and ordered soft food for dinner so I didn’t have to maneuver a steak with chunks scary. His kindness took me by surprise and, although he was not my normal type, I found myself looking at him in a new light. A warm light, slightly va va voom light.
So, I’m telling you, ladies, we have to change the way we look at guys. No more looking at the guys who don’t respond or leave us constantly thinking “WTF?” Let’s take care of the guy who helps someone lift a heavy item into the car or pick up their flying cap the next time you stack it in the supermarket and your bag items go everywhere.
As someone who has always been the ‘fixer’, as opposed to the one who needs to be fixed, I took from this frightening hospital moment a new perspective on the ‘good guy’. It turns out that he can be really very sexy.