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Woman asks the specialist if she should tell her best friend that her husband is cheating on her

From deciding to reveal hard truths to a close friend is worthwhile to other uncomfortable questions of a personal nature, the reader’s dilemmas and big questions are answered by clinical psychologist Jo Lamble.


One night out a few weeks ago, I saw my best friend’s husband at a bar kissing a woman who was definitely not my friend. I was completely shocked because they are what you would call “the perfect couple”.

I know I would like to know if this happened to me, but it is not such a black and white decision when it comes to telling her what I saw.

She always told me that he is “her life” and if something happened to them, she would give up, so I’m not sure if I should say anything. What should I do?

Rather than dropping a truth bomb on her friend, Jo thinks she should address the partner. Picture: iStock


Yes, you definitely need to say something, but the question is, for whom?

I often think it is best to approach the person who is cheating and let them know what you have seen or heard. Contact your friend’s husband and tell him that you are very concerned about how she will react to the fact that he has been unfaithful and would prefer that he hear from you.

He did the wrong thing, so he must be the one to face the situation. If he absolutely refuses and asks you to be silent, tell him that you can’t do that – she deserves to know the truth and you wouldn’t be a good friend if you kept his secret. Then you will have the terrible task of telling her what you saw.

Be prepared for a strong reaction. You may even be attacked for telling her, but it will be better than the reaction you would have if she found out later.

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